Why I'm Not "Whole"

I joined a holistic moms group on FB. I was really excited to collaborate with other moms and get ideas. I lasted about 3 weeks before I left the group. I guess I am no longer or maybe was never "whole".

I think I might be the opposite of holistic. I call it- realistic. 

Why I will never be holistic- 

* disclaimer- not all holistic moms are this way, nor do I look down on them- I'm just not one of them.*

I buy tampons at the store when I get a visit from aunt Flow. I do not use reusable /washable pads. Gag me. I do not like to attract sharks or dogs thank you very much. 

I had a c-section. And no matter what they say those home birth, no epideral mothers will always look down on it. And find some reason to deem it unnecessary .

I take Ruby to the dr, she gets vaccinated. They will tell you that you poison your kid. 

They will talk about how wonderful a natural birth is and how empowering it is and you will cry to your husband about how bad it sucked to have a c-section. (Trust me, I earned my badge) 

They will talk about oils and ways to treat different things with them and I wonder if my vegetable oil in the cupboard can do that because I am clueless and those oils are expensive!

I like doctors and modern medicine, they think it's evil. 

They believe in home births, I think they are incredibly scary and risky. Plus I do not want to sit in  a pool of my birth junk. Barf. 

They don't drink pop, diet coke is my slice of heaven. 

Now don't get me wrong, I think

Some aspects of holistic parenting are really interesting an awesome. Like I enjoyed reading breast feeding tips, best car seat tips, and how to help a baby sleep tips. But I realized on a bash post about the doctor who delivered Ruby (who I loved) that I will never fit in with those "whole" mamas because I am a "half" mom- half crazy that is;) 

It all comes down to the fact that everyone has a different parenting style, and where I might make Ruby's baby food, and breastfeed but I am not a holistic mama- it's not my style. But I do what's best for Ruby because she is my world and I have  a great gift called mothers intuition that I use everyday. Just like every other mom. If you clothe diaper- great! More power to ya! But you better think the same when I put a disposable diaper on my baby- because while I might be adding to the landfills, I am saving my sanity. If I try to live up to all the expectations every different mama has, I will pull my hair out. So I am my own kind of mama. 

Stay sane mamas. Do what you have to! What do you do to stay sane everyday? 

Pink

My last two blog posts have been somewhat depressing, so to reassure you my life is not a pit of despair I bring you the blog post titled Pink.

For those of you who know me, I mean know me know me..know that for the past 7 years or so I have boycotted the color pink. Blue has been my go to color. Trust me, go into my closet and there is nothing pink. Nothing. 

I think it was in 7th or 8th grade that literally everything I owned was pink. I got sick of it after that year, and hated how popular it was among girls and jumped of the pink wagon. 

But to my disbelief and the disbelief of my friends and family... I am a pink girl again. 

Blue is still my favorite color but my friends.. Pink is creeping up on me. 

My new diaper bag! Pink! 

Pink. Pink. Pink.

Girls are fun. :)

Excuses

You know your legs are hairy when you wear pants to bed so your husband of 3 years (who secretly knows about the beasts living on your legs) doesn't think he is snuggling up to the dog.

You know your legs are hairy when you have dreams about people lifting up your pants to reveal your man legs. 

I finally had an extra 10 mins and I shaved them! I told Reese I lost 3 lbs while in the tub. He looked confused, until I lifted up the leg on my pajamas and revealed my new smooth legs, fresh with shimmer lotion! He was stoked, he knew they had gotten bad, and was polite enough to pretend not to notice. Someone give this man a trophy. 

I thought of excuses. Many excuses. 

Like- oh is no shave November over already? 

Or- it keeps me warm! 

Or my razor broke! (True story) 

I wish I still had the I can't reach them

Over my pregant belly excuse. But sadly, that's no longer an viable excuse. 

The truth is.. I'm lazy. The last thing I want to do when I get down time is shave my legs, or organize clothes, or start the taxes, or mop the floor (I hate mopping the floor in the winter!). I just want to flop on my bed after a long Monday and watch gossip girls while snuggling with my best girl. 

But seriously, I need to get my crap under control. My eyebrows have gone all Brooke Sheilds on me and really need to be conquered. 

Ruby's newborn clothes really need to be put into storage. 

Taxes really need to be filed. 

And I have some sewing projects to attend to. 

I did make homemade laundry detergent, there is something I deserve I trophy for. I am excited to use it. 

So here's to promising a productive Tuesday. I will have to tell Serena, Blair and Dan (Gossip Girl reference) I am taking a sabbatical for my mental sanity. Netflix will serious suck the life out of you. So will a baby who suddenly decided she hates sleep. Good thing she's cute.

Xoxo 

Shayna 

Emotional Mama

Tonight like every night Ruby and I took our bath and I put her on our bed to get her ready for bed. She is usually sooo ready to eat after her bath and gets a little fussy while I lotion her and get her ready for bed. But today after I set her on the bed she just wanted to kick and talk.

 

It melted me. 

I wanted to cry. 

She is growing up, and she is changing everyday. 

Every new stage is fun but I can't believe soon she will be 4 months old. 

I am dying. 

I beg Reese to keep her small. Too bad he has no control over that. 

She is my best friend. We have great chats and great snuggles. 

I just love her so much I sometimes look at her and burst out in tears. My heart explodes for her. 

Now she is asleep next to me and I just want to lay here and stare. She has the sweetest sleeping face ever. Like her daddy. 

I cry more now, must be the whole I am a mom thing and everything pulls a little harder on my heart strings. Pictures of soldiers meeting their babies for the first time, TV shows, anything baby really. Call me a sap. I am a leaky faucet, in more ways than one;)  Heck, a Huggies commercial can come on, and if it is done the right way, I'm gonna need a Kleenex. 

I love babies. I love my baby. 

Now let's cry with laughter.

Xoxo Shayna